Alternate Names For This Memory Foam Mattress

Attempted in vain to sleep while housesitting. During those long, thwarted hours, this is all that emerged:

Swiped from internet, can’t find image credit.

1. More Like Unprocessed Trauma Foam Mattress. Zing.
2. Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Slumber Here
3. Joyless Waterbed
4. The Vesuvius — Entombed as the Lava Cools ®
5. No Amount of Writhing Can…